The Smell Scale from Ugh to AGGGHHHHH!

Posted on 10th August, by Flash Bo-Dash in Roller Derby. 3 Comments

The Smell Scale from Ugh to AGGGHHHHH!

Something I have been toying with recently is Flash Bo-Dashs’ Derby Dictionary! This blog features my first two words……… expect many more creations that pop up in my ever expanding world of Derby, in my future blogs……


In context: – “That was a real Gummy Worm Moment”


Vampira says to Flash at a training session when talking of playing Micro Derby.

Flash: Ooooo is that like Subbuteo where we have mini Derby players that we move around on a mini track wearing mini helmets and hot pants?

Vampy replies: No Flash.. (Grins) it’s where we use 3 blockers instead of 4 if we don’t have enough players training that was another one of your real Gummy Worm Moments (wets herself laughing)


So my first taster of Roller Derby went down like a treat, a very sweet treat! Imagine knickerbocker glory with a soft toffee base, Nutella, marshmallows all topped off with that chocolate sauce in a shape of a mountain that hardens when it reaches the icecream! Yes really, that sweeeeeet, but in no way sickly!

After the girls finished scrimmaging (I was watching them training for the first time) they all skated over with big grins on their faces and gradually started the reversal ritual, Peeling all the pads off! This was done in a much more jovial manner unlike the more serious one that went with the “putting pads on” phase at the beginning of the training session. Pads were taken off and frequently ‘smell this’ could be heard as the girls joked about who had the smelliest pads! This is one thing I have learnt, that Derby girls find it immensely funny comparing smell scales!


Derby Dictionary Word No.2

Smell Scale: Noun (Scale)

Definition of Smell Scale- The measurement of smell a Derby pad gives off dependent on how many times it has been worn playing, between washes.

Measured in Uggh to AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHS! Depending on intensity of the aroma.


I was curious where my rather extravagant but now embarrassing introduction photos of myself had ended up which was mentioned in Blog 2 as I was rather less confident now being face to face with these girls! Up until now I’d just communicated via emails to S.W.A.T. I went round the room asking, did you answer my email, how about you? Until a girl with a twinkle in her eye answered yes, it was me! Aggggggghhhhhhh I said! (not to be confused with Uggggggghhhhhh on the smell scale!) Um hi I said. I’m Kimberly, Giggled and went bright red!

South West Angels of Terror Derby Player - Vampira_77Vampira however made me feel quite normal! I now know we’re all a little kooky in Roller Derby and that’s what makes us even more special!

After chatting for a while, I was invited to a recreational skate the following Sunday. This would take part in the same sports hall and I would get a chance to meet the girls in a more relaxed environment. I could also try busting some moves but hopefully and more importantly, be able to stand up on the wooden floor (been a long time since I’d skated on said flooring!)

Travelling home that night I was grinning from ear to ear. literally. The Cheshire Cat had nothing on me! (apart from more fur and a lovely long tail)

Kim the Cheshire cat


I had driven up to training in the dark expecting shadows, gloomy hallways with zombies around every corner and scary Roller Derby girls in a haunted school on a hill. Thunder and lightening would have also featured highly in my catastrophic perception of what I might find! I have to say some of their headshot photos and Derby names on did a grand job in putting fear into me prior to meeting them!….(although of course they are still very very hard and scary…note to any opposition reading this!)

Getting into bed that night I perused in my mind the images and thoughts from the day. I have to say although I was at home tucked up in bed, I felt slightly more at home, after discovering Derby.

Speak to you all next week! Love Flash xxx

3 responses to “The Smell Scale from Ugh to AGGGHHHHH!”

  1. Jeff the ref says:

    These blog posts are awesome Flash. And I LOVE the pictures!!!

    Can’t wait to see what you have I store next!!!

  2. […] The next day I visited my Mum who I’ve mentioned previously was battling with Cancer (at this time she was in the throws of first stages of Chemo) I gabbled on like an excited 5 year old about Gummy Worms in helmets, girls running in pink skates on their toe-stops and the overriding smell that wafted out of bags which made everyone fall about in fits of laughter! (an Uggggggggghhhhhh on the Smellometer! See my last blog!) […]

  3. Flash Bo-Dash says:

    Thank you so much Jeff! Hope you like the next one…….
    Flash x

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